i want to be REAL

hmmmn this is kind'a embarassing though...
i'll be blogg'n it...

i hate it!!!
i uber hate it!
i hate myself!
i hate my so called NOT BEING SHOWY!!
i just hate it!!!

why can't i just burst it all out?
why oh why oh why!!!

it's really hard for me to express my true feelings...
i just think that...
if i do so...
i'll be a weakling!!!
nyahahahaha!!!

ever since...
i've always kept my real feelings inside...
for example...

when i'm happy...my face is still neutral...
no reactions at all!!!
whoa!!!

same when i'm annoyed or pissed...
my face is still the same!
what the heck?!

i want to show them that
I'M STRONG!!!
but it's really hard...
whew~

i'm sooo sorry ______.
i really wanted to show you that i lalab joo...
but i just can't!!!
SORRY