nikki:miserable

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
random thoughts....
once again...

back ground music: random
from HALE| SUGARFREE| MARYZARK

their songs mean so much to me...
memories and all~
but i've found out that it also mean a lot to him
and it makes me SICK~

maybe that's why i'm feeling this kind of stupidity!!!
demmit!!!

maybe he's the reason why i'm still having my flus and coughs
huhuhuhuhuhu

maybe he's the reason i'm feeling this excruciating pain

i can't hardly believe him!!!
he's so damn ridiculous!!!

bringing about the past?
i don't care if it doesn't mean anything to him
~but it does mean something to me...

some people just can't move on huh?
why can't they just stop lurking with their past?
i can't believe him man!!!
darn it!

yeah i know...
insecurity kills...
but he's the one responsible for giving me such discomfort!!!

it's as if i was slapped on the face!
like:

guy: hey! look at this~blah blah blah!!!im so frigg'n happy there!!!ENVY ME 100x
me: oh yeah? really? i wish you both happiness in life~just shut the fcuk up!!!

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
kill me instead!!!

XDDD

i don't wanna talk about this anymore...
it's killing me BIG TIME
so this will be the last...
i'm soooo much disturbed uh?

jealousy

"jealousy is the pain which man feels from
the apprehension that he is NOT equally beloved by the person whom he
entirely loves."

wow watt'a quote!!!
but that's true...

i've never felt this way before...
am i jealous or what?

but that's true...
i'm afraid~
afraid of this feeling...
the feeling of being cheated and neglected
that's why i trust no one...

demmit
but now i'm experiencing it!
and trust me...
it burns!!!
XDDD

hahahaha
i'm talking nonsense again
i hate it!!!


grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
im uber jealous that i wished him dead meat!!!
am i bad?
am i bad?
rawr!!!

now that i've experienced this fck'n feeling
i'll never trust him ever again!!!
i swearrr~uuuuuu

i hate you!!!
how dare you!!!
how dare you....?